


Rin and Len Go Out to Sea: A True Story

by CrazyBlues



Category: UTAU, Vocaloid
Genre: Bears, Crack, F/M, Incest, Pirates, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-10
Updated: 2014-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-11 19:53:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1177248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyBlues/pseuds/CrazyBlues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin and Len go on an adventure out at sea! I hope they don't run into any pirates, because that would be pretty lame for them! This story contains incest and explicit themes. Be warned! Well, then again, it's just a crack fic, so you never really know. It's not actually THAT graphic, which is why it's unrated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rin and Len Go Out to Sea: A True Story

Len looked out the window longingly. It had been a whole 24 hours since the last time he had gone on an adventure, and he was truly bored. His sister Rin was in the same boat, of course. Len made up his mind. He left his room and knocked on the door to Rin's bedroom.  
  
"Rin, you in there?" Len asked, quietly, as to not alert any one else in the house of his plans.  
  
"Yeah, what's up?" Rin responded.  
  
Len gathered his thoughts. His thoughts were then gathered and he spoke.  
  
"I was hoping that you would go on an adventure with me. Sail across the seas in search of something wicked cool, you know?" He hoped that she'd say yes, as he really was very, VERY bored.  
  
"Hm..." Rin thought about it.  
  
"Come on~!" Len begged.  
  
"Eh... Alright. I guess I don't really have anything better to do, you know?" Rin gave in.  
  
"Sweet, dawg!" Len replied. "Now lets get our provisions and get the flipity-flip out of here!"  
  
Rin and Len then gathered essential things, such as food, water, Len's keytar, candy, fruit punch, their 3DSes (how the poop am I supposed to plural that?), and 2 Swiss army knives.  
  
They went out to the beach and found a boat for rent. No one was looking, so they hopped in and sailed away. The boat was way too big to be a rental boat, though. It was almost exactly like a pirate ship, in fact. The only thing it was missing was a skull and cross-bones on a black flag. Len took off the black t-shirt he was wearing and painted a skull and cross-bones on it using vanilla pudding, which totally worked and didn't look THAT stupid, surprisingly. He then strung it up on the flag pole thingy while hoping simultaneously that they don't run into any real pirates at sea, because that would be pretty lame.  
  
"I hope we don't run into any real pirates at sea, because that would be pretty lame." said Rin.  
  
"Yeah, I was just thinking the same exact thing." Len responded.  
  
"Yeah, that would probably suck, wouldn't it," said the pirate standing behind them.  
  
"Yeah, like I said--WAIT-A-MINUTE-HOLY-SHIPWRECK-WHAT-ARE-WE-GONNA-DO!?" Len yelled, feeling scared and stuff.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rin said.  
  
More pirates jumped onto the ship all at once. There were 3 in total.  
  
"We're the Peg-leg pirates!" One of them yelled.  
  
They then began to introduce themselves.  
  
"I'm known as One-Peg," said the scrawny pirate with a single peg-leg, along with his non-peg-leg.  
  
"Two-Peg." This buff pirate was obviously a man of few words. He, predictably, had two peg-legs.  
  
"They call me... Three-Peg!" This gigantic, muscle-bound pirate had three legs instead of the usual two, which was pretty weird. However, as his name would suggest, they were all peg-legs now.  
  
All three pirates got ready to attack. Though they were pirates, it appeared that they intended to kick-box the defenseless, teen-aged  twins.  
  
Len then had an idea. It just might have been the craziest idea that ever existed. Ever. Seriously.  
  
"If you think your wood can defeat mine, you're sorely mistaken!" Len yelled.  
  
"What ever could you be talking about! I see no peg-legs on ya lad!" Three-Peg replied.  
  
Just then, Len dropped his pants, his crotch-peg standing fully alert.  
  
"I was talking about MY JUNK!" Len yelled, swinging his banana loaf at the pirates.  
  
Wood clashed with wood and blood, sweat and tears were shed, all while Rin stared at the scene in front of her in awe. She wasn't sure if she should be impressed or disgusted. She chose the former, for now.  
  
"So sugoi..." Rin admired.  
  
"Not bad." Said Two-Peg, as Len slapped One-Peg across the face repeatedly with his disco stick, until he was out cold. "But can you beat this?"  
  
Two-Peg began to break-dance, kicking Len in the face a few times with his pegs in the process. Len was having none of this, though, and began to charge at the big pirate. As Two-Peg was getting up from a head-spin, Len thrust his man-wurst into Two-Peg's eye. The pirate started holding his eye and screaming in pain, probably afraid of contracting pink-eye or something along those lines. Len then stomped on his head until he was unconcious.  
  
All that was left was Three-Peg.  
  
"Wait, hold on!" Three-Peg cried. "How did you manage to take out both of my men while I was busy checking my Street Passes!?"  
  
"Also, how is it that you have over 9 million soldiers in Warrior's Way!? That is NOT FAIR!" Three-Peg added.  
  
"I'm just that cray-cray ba-nay-nay." Len said with a totally stoic look on his face.  
  
"GET HIM LEN!" Rin yelled.  
  
Len then jumped 5 feet into the air, whacking the gigantic pirate in the face with his angry anaconda.  
  
Three-peg, being a homophobe, fainted when slapped with Len's meat pole, since he figured that touching it with his face made him some form of gay.  
  
With that, the pirates were ultimately defeated by Len's superior wood. Rin and Len threw their unconcious bodies back onto the Peg-Leg ship and left, before the pirates could wake up and figure out where they were headed.  
  
Only after about 10 minutes of sailing away did Len remember to put his pants back on. Rin was relieved that she didn't have to keep awkwardly trying to avoid looking at her brother's junk.  
  
Rin's stomach began to growl ferociously.  
  
"Len, I'm going to make some food. Does this ship even have a kitchen?" Rin asked.  
  
"I dunno... Maybe...? I hope?" Len responded honestly.  
  
"Alright, I'll go check then." Rin decided.  
  
Rin walked in through the door at the back of the deck. There was a bedroom as well as another room. Rin figured that it was probably the kitchen, and so she opened the door. She was right, however there was something in her way. Something no sane person would expect to have to deal with in a pirate ship.  
  
"BEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!" Rin yelled, after finding herself face-to-face with a bear.  
  
She then decided to bust out her kung-fu moves and fight it. She got into a fighting stance. Much to her surprise, the bear also got into a stance. This was no ordinary bear. It was a kung-fu master. Her sensei warned her about this, though, so she knew how to take out opponents larger than her.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!" She shreiked as she ran at the bear, round-house kicking it in the dongles.  
  
The bear fell to the ground holding its happy-bits while Rin karate chopped it in the face repeatedly. Because of all the screaming, Len came running just in time to see Rin about to break its neck.  
  
"NO DON'T!" Len yelled.  
  
"What, why not?" Rin replied.  
  
"Dude, what if the bear was just hoping to go on an adventure. Maybe he's just like us!" Len pleaded.  
  
"Or... Maybe he's just like a bear." Rin responded, not very ready to trust the bear.  
  
"As it happens, I can talk to bears." Len revealed.  
  
"What, since when?" Rin asked, skeptical.  
  
"Remember that one time when we were little, when that crazy hobo bit me and we thought I had rabies and I had to get tested, but it came back negative? Then, I started hallucinating and thinking I was Jesus and stuff?" Len asked.  
  
"Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything? Are you still hallucinating?" Rin proposed.  
  
"No! After that incident, when I recovered, I found that I could talk to bears." Len explained.  
  
"Only bears..?" Rin asked, still skeptical.  
  
"I'd like to see you do any better!" Len yelled.  
  
He then walked over to the bear and started making bear-noises at it. The bear replied with more bear-noises. Eventually, they were both making bear-noises while waving their arms around.  
  
"... Have you learned anything yet, Len?" Rin asked.  
  
"Oh, yeah. He totally just wants to chill here. He was hoping to find a remote island to live on, preferably one with a tree on it." Len explained.  
  
"... Fine, but you have to make food. I'm worn out from my battle with this dude." Rin said.  
  
Rin then went up on the look-out thing to watch for land or other ships. In the meantime, Len and Bear, as the bear creatively named himself, made lunch. They made a huge plate of nachos using Doritos as the chips. They were killer.  
  
"Food's ready!" Len called.  
  
Rin dropped anchor and headed to the dining area. She enjoyed the nachos very much, but was uncomfortable with there being a bear at the table. Rin then suddenly wondered if such thoughts made her a racist. She certainly hoped not!  
  
After they ate, Rin and Len pulled up the anchor and set sail once more. Their journey lasted this way for about a month before they finally spotted land.  
  
"LAAAAAAAAAAAND!" Rin yelled.  
  
"Oh snap, dude!" Len replied.  
  
Len then steered toward the island, hoping that there weren't any monsters or pirates on it.  
  
They eventually got to the island. They dropped anchor and got off the boat. The three of them explored the island. The beach quickly turned into jungle. Rin led, wielding a machete, as Len rode on Bear's back. As they traveled, Bear and Len grunted back and forth.  
  
"Bear says that unless this island has a tree isolated from all these jungle trees, he wants to leave." Len said.  
  
"That picky son-of-a-monkey!" Rin exclaimed. "We just got here!"  
  
"We haven't been everywhere yet, let's just see if such a place exists here." Len pleaded.  
  
"Alright, fine!" Rin conceded.  
  
After about 2 hours of travel, they came upon a large clearing. Sure enough, surrounded by a field of flowers, there was a lone tree. Bear ran so fast, Len fell off of his back. Bear stopped by the tree and began to dance. Rin and Len looked at eachother confused. They both shrugged and walked over to the tree to examine it.  
  
It seemed like a normal tree at first glance but, as they found out quickly, it was not an ordinary tree. It began to speak to them in a horrible, incomprehensible voice.  
  
"I am the God of this island, known as Tree." Tree said.  
  
"... Tree? seriously?" Rin asked. "That the best you can come up with?"  
  
"Hey, shut up!" Tree exclaimed. "I had sent Bear, my familiar, to gather you here."  
  
"Us?" Len asked.  
  
"Well not you specifically, but whoever was man enough to steal a pirate ship guarded by a bear and then sail across the sea to find this place." Tree explained.  
  
"Why did you want to bring us here?" Rin asked.  
  
"I wanted someone to hear my song. I have waited for 361,030,115 years." Tree replied.  
  
"Alright... I guess go ahead...?" Rin said.  
  
Tree then began to sing in a voice reminiscent of a chalk board being shoved down a garbage disposal, along with glass. In other words, it was totally ear-scarring. At the same time, though, there was a certain sweetness to the song. Len was especially entranced as his tree trunk tried to poke its head up and say hello. As the song was ending, Rin let out a small moan.  
  
"This is impossible!" Tree cried. "My arousing song only works on men, and you are clearly a woman!"  
  
Then Rin revealed something that came as quite a surprise to everyone:  
  
"ACTUALLY I'M INTERSEX!"  
  
Len, Tree and Bear all gasped in shock.  
  
"Don't worry, I don't got a ding-dong; I still got a hoo-ha down south." Rin explained.  
  
Then, Tree began to sing again, increasing the twins' level of arousal.  
  
"Whelp, Rin, my judgement has flown the coop. This thing isn't going to take care of itself. Care to help me out here?" Len proposed.  
  
Rin's judgement was also gone.  
  
"Eh, why not? What's the worst that could happen?" Rin asked.  
  
They then got down to business. They wildly started throwing off their clothes.  
  
"Dude, no." Tree said. "You're supposed to just feel awkward. Stop that."  
  
The twins ignored his pleas, getting on with their incestuous scheme. Len moaned as Rin touched his dingaling, making him feel all diggity-dawg. They then did other naughty things like, you know... things... It was like playing twister I guess, but they were naked. Just use your imagination or something!  
  
After a while, they finished up and got dressed.  
  
"That was... whoa." Len said slowly.  
  
"Yeah... We should make a habit out of this, I think." Rin suggested.  
  
"Well, I doubt we'd ever be able to go back to being normal siblings after all that anyway, so what's it gonna kill?" Len figured.  
  
The two got back on their boat and set sail back to wherever it is they live. They may or may not have boned on the journey back home.  
  
  
  


# THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Tree is an UTAU created by Winchester24 on YouTube. From Tree's page on the UTAU wiki: 
> 
> "Once upon a time there was a magical tree named Tree. Tree was so magical that he/she/both/it could sing! One day a traveling peddler came about this marvelous tree named Tree and stopped to sit in the shade Tree put forth with his/hers/both's?/its branches. Tree then decided to offer more than that what that stuck up bitch the Giving Tree gave to that one kid so Tree sang for the man. The man was so amazed by that that he got a boner. And thus began Tree's singing career of going around the globe giving men boners with his songs."
> 
> Tree is interesting to me, because he/she/it/whatever is just such an inane concept. Not only that, but the voice sounds absolutely terrible.


End file.
